There was a furor in Malaysia and in the world about a deputy minister’s statement that a Muslim wife can be disciplined by her husband by ‘light beating’.

The statement of a PAS member in Ismail Sabri’s government created a problem as that statement was construed by many to mean a support of domestic violence.

It was made much worse that the deputy minister is also a woman in charge of family and women in the country.

Many are calling for her sacking or resignation and international news has been making remarks and ‘jokes’ about the state of Malaysia as an uncivilized nation.

I would like to offer my opinion to contextualize the issue and put the matter in a clearer perspective.

Firstly, did the Prophet Muhammad mention the permission for men to discipline their wives in the Islamic family in the manner that the deputy minister has stated?

The answer is…yes. The Prophet Muhammad had mentioned it in his hadith and it is considered a strong narration.

Now, does this mean that Islam condones domestic violence targeting women? The answer is definitely in the negative. Islam does not condone domestic violence and any violence towards women as Islam makes assertions that women are the charge of men and they must be cared and protected for their safety, chastity and dignity. That is indisputable.

Now, many with Western education and applying a Western morality finds such aspects as Islam unacceptable.

I am sorry but many do not understand the context of the statement of the deputy minister in the idea of treating women from the Prophet Muhammad’s perspective.

I dare say that most Muslims also do not understand what the Prophet Muhammad had intended with his statement on allowing the manner of disciplining the wife

Firstly, let me explain that I have read over 20,000 hadiths from the collections of Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Madja and the Muwatta that there are no recorded hadiths where the Prophet ever applied any ‘beatings’ of any of his many wives. None.

The Prophet had in all probability never ever had ‘beaten’ his wives lightly or otherwise.

Secondly, I have also never found a hadith where the Prophet Muhammad had even raised his voice to reprimand any of his wives.

So, how did the Prophet actually show his displeasure?

As I said, many Muslims also do not know and I will explain.

If the Prophet did not prefer a dish cooked by his wife, he would just refrain from eating it. He would not grow angry and shout or throw the dish away.

If the Prophet disagreed with something his wives did, he would just mention it as an advice or a suggestion.

The incident of one of his wives intending to enlarge her apartment comes to mind. The Prophet had disagreed and said that building or construction was wasteful most of the time.

The most significant incident of the Prophet’s displeasure with all of his wives happened on one occasion when he could not stand the demands of his household for extra rations or slaves to help. The Prophet left them all and went for a 29-day retreat in an apartment.

That is why jurists teach Muslim men to vacate the bed and leave the wife for a short while to show displeasure.

The husband would also not speak but it must be understood that the wife and family must be left with the adequate provision if the husband decided to leave the wife for many days but not more than a month.

Thus, the Prophet Muhammad had never beaten any of his wives, never spoke in anger with any of them and the only thing he did was to leave them for a while to be in retreat.

Now, many would probably question…so if the Prophet never beat his wives, why say so or allow the beating of wives for other Muslims?

Now, it is my considered opinion that we must understand the historical context of the tribal culture of the Arabs in those days.

In the Days of Ignorance or Jahilliyah, the Arabs treated women like property to be married off even without their consent. Once married, they could be treated in whatever manner the husband wished and that included severe beatings.

Women could also be left without inheritance or left without proclaiming any statement of divorce for her to remarry.

In those days, women could not survive if she had no man or male relative to protect her and her property.

When Islam came, the Prophet sought to initiate a cultural revolution in the treatment of women. But he dealt with the change in a gradual manner.

For instance, in inheritance, women received half of what male heirs received which was better than nothing that was allowed to be inherited by women.

Secondly, the Prophet mentioned a certain number of days that if a husband left the wife without uttering the divorce statement, the women was free to remarry.

Thus, in the issue of severe wife beating , the Prophet had to mention ‘beating’ but he phrased it in a manner that it is so light that there is no mark left on her body.

What would happen if the Prophet had disallowed totally the disciplining of the wife? There would be too much upheaval of the social fabric and place the leadership of the family in limbo.

Men are the leaders of the family and this is an unchanged fact unlike the idea of ‘equal partnership’ in the Western secular morality.

Non-Muslims must try to understand this aspect of Islam and not label it as backwards or as an insult to women.

I am the undisputed leader of my house and my son who is my third child is the head of the family when I die.

He has power over the inheritance and power over becoming the wali in marriage for his elder and younger sisters. Islam provides this social structure to define the family unit.

In my 36 years of marriage, I never once struck my wife. In 40 years of my parents’ marriage, I never once saw my father struck my mother even though he was a police constable.

Many of my friends saw their mothers being slapped or kicked by their fathers, but this is wrong and my father was my example.

The day my daughters’ husbands strike my daughters will be the day I will order them to divorce their husbands and I will drag each one of them to justice and imprisonment.

No one shall tell me what the Prophet said because I understand the real and truer spirit of why he said it.

Islam does not support any form of domestic violence and any form of wife beating. To me, the statement is to remind women that the husband is the leader of the household and that all men must follow the gentlemen spirit of the Prophet Muhammad who never struck any of his wife lightly or otherwise.

Many non-Muslims in Malaysia are too quick to judge Islam without understanding the full context of the issue.

I have seen many issues that have jumped the gun by non-Muslim and which have created and nurtured the deep chasm separating us as a nation.

On the other hand, many Muslims, like the deputy minister, are too ignorant about placing statements in its proper context and simply go off like a ceramah in a surau.

The deputy minister must clarify her statement as she is a leader for all Malaysians, not just Muslims.

She failed in that responsibility.

Opposition leaders and civil society who are non-Muslims must not jump the gun without understanding the full historical, social and spiritual context of the practices, beliefs and values of Islam…if we still value our multi-faith nation.

(Prof Dr. Mohd Tajuddin Mohd Rasdi is Professor of Architecture at a local university and his writing reflects his own personal opinion entirely.)